In the first part of this series, we discussed the first 4 Principles of Parting. Unfortunately in our society, many couples will experience a divorce. Wendy Paris, the author of Splitopia: Dispatches from Today’s Good Divorce and How to Part Well, offers couples tools (Principles) to help them make positive and productive choices through the divorce and co-parenting. Let’s take a look at the remaining 3 Principles of Parting:
- COMBAT ANGER WITH EMPATHY: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”, said the Buddha. Whether you are angry with your spouse or yourself, anger makes a presence at some point in a divorce. Identify the hurt under the rage and try to empathize with the struggles of your ex-spouse. Learning how to release that anger is key to moving forward and developing future relationships.
- BEWARE OF THE URGE TO COMPARE: Divorces come in all shapes and sizes and they are unique to each couple. Just because your best friend’s crazy ex took a baseball bat to her car, it doesn’t mean your divorce will follow the same destructive path. Focus on your own personal goals and challenges, not others.
- CREATE POSITIVE MOMENTS: This last principle is so important because so much negativity can surround a divorce. By creating intentional positive moments, we have the ability to “undo” some of the effects caused by negative experiences. If we experience good emotions, even briefly, it can help decrease the negative effect of situations such as a draining court battle or a heated argument with an ex-spouse. If we feel happier, we are able to connect with others better, lower stress and be more productive.
We understand some of these 7 Principles of Parting are easier to tackle than others. Just remember to remain focused on the goal you want to achieve – working through a divorce more positively and productively, especially when kids are involved. For more information regarding divorce law and advice regarding your specific situation, contact Gerstenberger Law at (770) 920-7722.
The information found on the Gerstenberger Law site is for educational purposes only. Your situation and the situation of others is unique and more complex. This is neither legal advice nor to be considered legal advice. Contact us for advice about your specific situation.